A Decade Down

I was thinking the other day about everything in my life that has changed in the last ten years. And I was amazed at how the changes have been so big and dramatic. I don't think you realize how much life changes over the years. When you are living it day to day, the changes just seem to pass right by you. So I thought I'd do a little history of the last ten years!

2000~I was a full-time student at the University of North Florida. I was in my junior year and close to graduating with a Bachelors in Music. I was single and happy for the first time in my life with being single. I was picking schools to attend for my Masters in Opera Theatre. Then I met Jim. And things shifted just a little bit. Maybe I could make room for a man in my life. Maybe I could balance school and a relationship. But I was not compromising myself to do it.

2001~Jim had moved to Charleston, South Carolina. I graduated from UNF. My baby sister got married to Eddie. I packed up everything and moved to Charleston to be with Jim. I auditioned at University of South Carolina and was accepted. Then, I got sick and was unable to attend classes that fall. My baby sister got pregnant and while I was very excited for her, it brought out all the pain inside me knowing that I would never have any children of my own.

2002~Jim proposed to me. I was so happy. He was willing to take me, just the way I am. I continued to struggle with my health. My nephew and Godson was born and eleven days later Jim and I were married. Three months after we were married, Jim had to admit me to the hospital for the first time. I was terrified inside that this would chase him away, but he stayed with me and stayed strong. Three months later we were headed back to the hospital, but I did not want to go. I switched doctors and discovered something that would change my life forever. I started remicade for my Crohn's disease in November of that year. It was a slow road, but I actually started to feel better. I had energy, I could do things. It was amazing!

2003~My health continued to improve with remicade. Jim and I were enjoying living in Charleston but realized something in our lives was missing. We started looking into adoption. About that same time, another miracle occured. A doctpr actually sat down with me and talked to me about having my own children. Yes, it would be a challenge, but she felt that we could do it. So I started seeing multiple doctors to determine if I could get pregnant and stay pregnant. We started going to the fertility clinic. In October, Jim and I started out fertility treatments. In November we found out I was pregnant. In December we found out I was pregnant with twins. For me, it was the best thing I had ever heard!

2004~We were transferred from Charleston to Newport News, Virginia. I was 3 and a half months pregnant. We found a house and bought it. Our first house together, but could not close on it until June 15th. My due date was July 31st, so I went to Florida to live with mom and dad while Jim came to Virginia without me. In June, daddy had a heart attack. A week later, the twins were born, 6 weeks early. Jim missed their birth by 3 hours. I was pre-eclamptic and we could not wait for him. The twins were small but healthy. They spent almost three weeks in the NICU. Those were some rough times! And then when they came home, off to Virginia I went with a pit stop at my family reunion. Suddenly I was here in Virginia with two babies and NO support. They required so much from me! I remember being exhausted all the time! On top of that, Jim made Chief that year. Another blessing in our lives, although I did not feel like it was a blessing at the time!

2005~We slowly started getting the house in order. My second nephew was born. We survived shift work and somehow managed not to kill each other. (Jim and I that is!)

2006~Jim changed commands. That meant going to sea. So the summer the twins turned two, Jim was deployed. It was only four months, but it was pretty scary for me. Two 2 year olds and me alone for the summer. This coule be a problem. They changed so much that summer. We attended another family reunion. I attended my 20 year high school reunion. I left my babies for a week with mom and dad for the first time ever. I found a local moms group. What a lifesaver for me. I actually started to make friends here and feel like Virginia was home.

2007~The twins turned 3. I was struggling to fine myself again. I knew I was a wife. I knew I was a mother. I wanted something more. As a result, I pushed Jim away. Lucky for me, he didn't go anywhere. We struggled together as a couple but agreed to find a way to make it work for us.

2008~The new year started well...Jim and I were in a good place again. The kids turned 4 that year. We attended another family reunion. The twins started pre-school that fall. It was a big step for me. They were going full time and were gone all day. It was so hard for me to let them go, but watching them grow and learn made up for it. Jim and I both celebrated turning 40. In October, tragedy struck the family. My brother in law was killed in a tragic gun accident. We were all heartbroken. It was a huge blow for us all in so many ways. But we made it through.

2009~Another good year. Jim and I grow stronger and closer every year. I do still struggle to find myself apart from being a mother and wife, but I don't push Jim away anymore when I am doing it. The twins started kindergarten. They continue to grow and amaze me. My babies are really not babies anymore. My health is still under control. Remicade is still my mainstay.

Now as I look forward to a new decade, I can't help but wonder what chages are still in store for me. I hope they will be good, but I know some will be hard. In the end, I hope that we will face them together as a family. And that the blessings will outweigh the trials. So here's to another wonderful ten years!